a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

[Fred Smith]

re: stupidvisors

Not quite in line with the thread but funny.

In the machine shop one day we were trying to figure out how to clamp a warped part, we decided it needed a couple shims under it. the machinist pulls out some shim, looks around and utters someone stole my supervisor tape. I ask what the f**k is supervisor tape. He says you know, double sided tape, aka 2 FACED! Guess the management/employee relationship had deteriorated a little..

[fiat128]

[QUOTE=BDJ;18516]

My uncle is a millwright at a lumber yard, years ago he told me the story of a man accidentally cutting his fingers off (hands in the wrong place) while running a trim saw. They were able to put his fingers back on, but later he was showing the safety man and supervisors exactly what happened HE CUT THE SAME FINGERS OFF AGAIN. He promptly lost his job. Almost unbelievable ain't it

That has to be the funniest thing I ever read on the internet. Let me guess was it one of these two?

[migwelder05]

hey man i may be blind ,but i aint that blind ...and NO they do not look better at last call.


here's my woman... see a REAL TEXAS WOMAN

**** she nice

[jweller]

just this Saturday in the auto parts store:

I'm looking for a check valve that is no longer holding pressure, it flows both ways. After the clerk tells me hes never heard of a check valve in a fuel system, (really, cause I've got one in my hand right now) and how he works on stuff "all the time". And after he tells me they don't even carry the part, when it's pretty obvious to me that it's just as likely he can't manipulate the inventory computer. He then proceeds to reccomend that "if I thought I had a bad check vavle, I'd just bypass it."

yeah, thanks for the free advice. it was worth every penny.

[ridesideways]

me and some friends got into a discussion with this redneck guy from fairbanks, alaska about how fast electricity travels along a wire. he was convinced that it traveled 1 foot per second-- he had seen it on a science show. we kept giving him examples of lightning, etc., and explaining it traveled incredibly fast at nearly the speed of light. but he is not listening-- he knows better than us.

so then one of my friends grabs an old extension cord, cuts the female end off to expose the two wires. my friend says, "here you hold these two wires and i'll plug in the extension cord. since electricity only travels 1 foot/second, you'll have plenty of time to let go before you get shocked." well the dudes eyes light up like a christmas tree and all of a sudden he's like "no way man i'll get electrocuted."

so then we're all laughing and telling him "but it's a 25 foot cord and the electricity travels at 1 foot per second-- dude, you have PLENTY OF TIME to let go..."

needless to say he gave up and the argument ended and he didn't get electrocuted. LOL

[monte55]

me and some friends got into a discussion with this redneck guy from fairbanks, alaska about how fast electricity travels along a wire. he was convinced that it traveled 1 foot per second-- he had seen it on a science show. we kept giving him examples of lightning, etc., and explaining it traveled incredibly fast at nearly the speed of light. but he is not listening-- he knows better than us.

so then one of my friends grabs an old extension cord, cuts the female end off to expose the two wires. my friend says, "here you hold these two wires and i'll plug in the extension cord. since electricity only travels 1 foot/second, you'll have plenty of time to let go before you get shocked." well the dudes eyes light up like a christmas tree and all of a sudden he's like "no way man i'll get electrocuted."

so then we're all laughing and telling him "but it's a 25 foot cord and the electricity travels at 1 foot per second-- dude, you have PLENTY OF TIME to let go..."

needless to say he gave up and the argument ended and he didn't get electrocuted. LOL

Actually you guys didn't come out looking too smart on that one......sorry...I callesm as I seesem.

[spotsineyes]

I would have liked to find out his reasoning as to why 1 ft./sec.

[monte55]

Maybe he has really really really really really really really big feet

[BudMan580]

Ok, so we tell a guy at work, take this coil of line (rope) up to the roof and throw it down to us and we'll tie the piece on. 5 minutes later, the ENTIRE coil comes crashing down, still coiled!
A friend is telling me that they get a new guy on the job. They need to pull a measurement with a hundred foot tape, but the first inch or so is broken off the tape. They tell the guy to walk down with the end of the tape and when he sees the mark they painted in the day before hold the tape on one foot. He pulls the tape tight and is wondering why the measurement is so far off, until he looks at the other guy.......Holding the end of the tape and.......balancing on one foot!!!!!!!
Can't make this crap up!!

[fun4now]

good thing you didnt tell himto burn a ft.

[lotechman]

me and some friends got into a discussion with this redneck guy from fairbanks, alaska about how fast electricity travels along a wire. he was convinced that it traveled 1 foot per second-- he had seen it on a science show. we kept giving him examples of lightning, etc., and explaining it traveled incredibly fast at nearly the speed of light. but he is not listening-- he knows better than us.

The electrons move about the speed of sound. Electricity moves much faster... Imagine a stack of billiard ***** and you hit the one end with a cue ball.

[monte55]

The electrons move about the speed of sound. Electricity moves much faster... Imagine a stack of billiard ***** and you hit the one end with a cue ball.

What electrons move at the speed of sound? So by your figures a person
in New York could be calling someone in California on the house phone to say
"Hello" but the person in California still has time to leave and do some shopping before the phone even starts ringing.
CHECK YOUR FACTS

[enlpck]

His analogy is correct.

There are several speeds associated with electric current

The velocity of individual electrons at a given instant, which ranges from zero to several thousand meters per second in a metal.

The drift velocity, which is the average velocity of all of the electrons in a conductor carrying current. Zero if there is no current, to several meters per second in a high-current density conductor

The velocity of the influence (non-technical term... this is where the billiard ball analogy comes in), which is near the speed of light (about half) in most conductors. The influence is due to the interaction between electrons' electric fields. This influence works at the speed of light (the carrier particle is photons) between individual electrons, but the net effect in a bulk conductor is slower for a variety of reasons.

[ridesideways]

Actually you guys didn't come out looking too smart on that one......sorry...I callesm as I seesem.

ehh...? so are you saying you agree with the 1 ft/sec guy? that's pretty funny actually

The electrons move about the speed of sound. Electricity moves much faster... Imagine a stack of billiard ***** and you hit the one end with a cue ball.

we weren't arguing about how fast a single electron vibrates or moves, we were arguing about how fast an electric voltage propagates along a wire. the guy had probably seen some show that talked about drift velocity for a single electron, but he was applying to mean propagation speed of a voltage.

this is strange. it sounds to me like we have some of our very own "not so bright" right here on our message board.

[monte55]

ehh...? so are you saying you agree with the 1 ft/sec guy? that's pretty funny actually


we weren't arguing about how fast a single electron vibrates or moves, we were arguing about how fast an electric voltage propagates along a wire. the guy had probably seen some show that talked about drift velocity for a single electron, but he was applying to mean propagation speed of a voltage.

this is strange. it sounds to me like we have some of our very own "not so bright" right here on our message board.

Not sure I read your post correctly.......1 foot per sec for electrons...not me....but some electrons could be really lazy..like people.

Now the speed of light vs the speed of electricity....both will change speed dependant on what mediam? they are traveling through. Light can be reflected, refracted, absorbed etc which dicate its speed at that point. Not so sure on what affects electrons speed other than the material, (air, metal etc)size, conductivity(resistance)EMFetc. If anyone has the knowledge to enlighten us, please do so. But if you are just making up crap, we'll call you on it.