a thread celebrating the "not so bright"

[welder_one]

i guess things dont work like they are supposed to at the plant. i know that i look out for number 1 and sometimes for a #2. the rest, i work then go home...

[jjsjeff]

We use LOTO and each person has their own lock and only key. On the lock is also your name so everyone knows who locked it out. You are the only one who can remove the lock unless of course you are dead, then they cut the lock.

That sounds like the right way to do it.

[down19992000]

i worked with a guy who used to work for the state in the late seventies doing road maintenance and he also was in charge of the snow plows when we had snow. he told me it got awful cold in the ford plows. i asked him why it got cold he said the ford plows had the distributor at the front of the engine and when they plowed it would send the snow right on top of the front of the hood where it would melt from the engine heat and get the distributor cap wet and cause the engine to sputter and stall. so they would hook a chain from the front of a regular truck to the ford plow and have them tow them and do there plowing and because the motor wasnt running in the ford plow it would get awfull cold. i told him havent you ever heard of spraying the inside of the cap out with wd-40 and then using silicone around the bottom of the cap to seal all the moisture out. he said i thought wd40 was for rusty bolts. i said wd40 means water diplacement on the 40th try. he said what does the silicone do i said it will seal the cap and keep water from getting inside. he said oh that would be to much trouble. i guess they would have rather froze half to death plowing the road instead using a little common sense. all i could do was laugh

[fun4now]

yep i can see how it would be soo much essayer to hook up chains and pull the plow all winter instead of fixing the problem.
i'll bet they cant drive anywhere when it's raining cuzz its too hard to turn on the wipers ????
boy thats some real winers there. great use of Tax $$. pay one guy to pull another all winter long just to keep from spending $4 a truck to fix it. not to mention the extra ware and tear on the other trucks.
some people just cant be helped.

[down19992000]

the thing with this guy is he actually thought that i was the dummy and his way was easier!!!!!!! he is one of our most senior welders at the company i work for. we have a nickname for him but i cant tell you it on here might make someone mad.

[Anti-GMAW]

Please PM me the nickname?

[welder13]

i worked with a guy who used to work for the state in the late seventies doing road maintenance and he also was in charge of the snow plows when we had snow. he told me it got awful cold in the ford plows. i asked him why it got cold he said the ford plows had the distributor at the front of the engine and when they plowed it would send the snow right on top of the front of the hood where it would melt from the engine heat and get the distributor cap wet and cause the engine to sputter and stall. so they would hook a chain from the front of a regular truck to the ford plow and have them tow them and do there plowing and because the motor wasnt running in the ford plow it would get awfull cold. i told him havent you ever heard of spraying the inside of the cap out with wd-40 and then using silicone around the bottom of the cap to seal all the moisture out. he said i thought wd40 was for rusty bolts. i said wd40 means water diplacement on the 40th try. he said what does the silicone do i said it will seal the cap and keep water from getting inside. he said oh that would be to much trouble. i guess they would have rather froze half to death plowing the road instead using a little common sense. all i could do was laugh

shoulda been a diesel

[Jolly Roger]

Just when you think you have seenit all or heard it all there is a new one. ROTFLMAO

I cannot get it across to my business partner that cutting without goggles damages your eyes. I finally got him to start using gloves and faceshield when I told him the company didn't pay for injuries caused by your own stupidity, especially failure to use PPE. Still can't get it across to him about wearing long sleeves and that arc rays cause skin cancer too. Something he has already had to deal with. He was a safety officer and investigator on the last construction project we were on before we went on our own thanks to Ken Lay and ENRON.

[welder_one]

how about this one, if my wife new that i was telling this she would be soooo mad...lol

on the 4th of may i was rear-ended whike going to the tool store to get a set of brushes for my chop saw, no biggie. while that vehicle was in the shop and i was on my way to many doctor's visits, about 14 days later, to be exact, i was rear-ended again. i was driving my wife's brand new chevy HHR. it was driveable, so i drove it home. when i got home, i was scolded by my wife for following too close. "that is why you got rear-ended twice" she said. i almost laughed but kept it in. the next day she appologized for jumping me about wrecking her car, she said that she realized that neither ws my fault. i still tease her about following too close because she might get rear-ended...lol

[monte55]

When my daughter was 16 she drove her Ford Escort 4 miles back home on a flat so I cound put air in it. She doesn't do that anymore.

[jjsjeff]

how about this one, if my wife new that i was telling this she would be soooo mad...lol

on the 4th of may i was rear-ended whike going to the tool store to get a set of brushes for my chop saw, no biggie. while that vehicle was in the shop and i was on my way to many doctor's visits, about 14 days later, to be exact, i was rear-ended again. i was driving my wife's brand new chevy HHR. it was driveable, so i drove it home. when i got home, i was scolded by my wife for following too close. "that is why you got rear-ended twice" she said. i almost laughed but kept it in. the next day she appologized for jumping me about wrecking her car, she said that she realized that neither ws my fault. i still tease her about following too close because she might get rear-ended...lol

Maybe she thought you were driving the car in reverse?

[welder_one]

here is a good one for ya. today i was at the paintline helping them lift the hot panels off of the conveyor on putting them on a rack to go to the layout/ assembly bay. sorry, those who dont know, i work in a sign shop, a big sign shop, and we are running laminated panels through right now.

so, i am at the end of the conveyor and the color coat is starting to "fish eye" real bad and getting worse. i call a stupidvisor over to bring it to his attention. he studies the panel closely and as he was doign this i said that it needed to be sanded down and re shot. he said " nope, when it goes through for clear coat, the clear coat will cover up the fisheyes" ........wow. and yet another reason we call him STUPIDVISOR

[nourider]

I was doing a a hydronic system in a hundred year old building in Denver about ten years ago and the company pulled my super off to another project toward the end. Replaced him with one of those wonderful know it all (nothing) types who is just riding out his time to retirement. This left you know who as the only person on the job who had a clue what was going on.

Come test day I hook up the hydrostat and immediately blew all four PRVs. Genius had installed 100LB PRVs. I asked why and he said that operating pump pressure was only 32, so 100 should be fine. This was a nine story building, four six inch risers. Do the math on the static head pressure.

He asked me what we should do and I suggested that if we used helium instead of air to test, the head pressure would be lighter.

I stopped him as he was calling the shop to order the helium. I'm too **** nice sometimes.

[Anti-GMAW]

I was doing a a hydronic system in a hundred year old building in Denver about ten years ago and the company pulled my super off to another project toward the end. Replaced him with one of those wonderful know it all (nothing) types who is just riding out his time to retirement. This left you know who as the only person on the job who had a clue what was going on.

Come test day I hook up the hydrostat and immediately blew all four PRVs. Genius had installed 100LB PRVs. I asked why and he said that operating pump pressure was only 32, so 100 should be fine. This was a nine story building, four six inch risers. Do the math on the static head pressure.

He asked me what we should do and I suggested that if we used helium instead of air to test, the head pressure would be lighter.

I stopped him as he was calling the shop to order the helium. I'm too **** nice sometimes.

You should ask him if a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers is lighter.

[fun4now]

.............
thats just too funny, you should have let him order the test helium .