"it should only take a few minutes..."

[Winger Ed.]

My Favorite one was....


"Can you fix this (cast IRON) tie rod off my old tractor?"
Me "why yes I can"
"how long will it take?"
ME "about an hour and a half"
"why so long"
ME "cause these things take time"
"cant you just weld it up?"
ME "sure I can"

The Next week:

"your **** weld broke"
ME "thats unfortunate"

This was one of the best threads we've had here.
Thanks for bringing it back.

Your experience reminded me of a old Geezer I know....
One of his favorite things to say along those lines was:

"Hmmm,,,,,,, OK ,,,,,,, (scratch head for a moment),,,,,
Do you want the job done fast, correctly, or cheap?
---- You can only Pick 2"..........

The deal was:
Fast & correct darn sure wasn't going to be cheap.
Correct & cheap was done several months later when the shop was slow.
Fast and cheap needs no explanation.

.

[mikeswelding]

BS MS & Phd

Higher their degree is, the more common sense they lose...
i agree 110%

2 ranchers were talking one day and one says his boy is off to college. Wants to get a BS. Well, these 2 ranchers know what BS is. Then the first one says after his boy gets a BS, he wants to get an MS. Only thing the ranchers could think this would stand for is More of the Same. Then he says his boy wants to go on and get a PhD. They figure this must mean Piled Higher and Deeper. And they are right.

[Bert]

Looks like Blackbird 455 was the one who brought it back

[AnotherDano]

"it should only take a few minutes..."

The correct response is:

Good, I can spare that much time to watch you do it.

[fjk]

Hi

I love this thread -- when I saw the new postings, I went back
and re-read the whole thing -- and still have a smile on my face..

Just so all you professional weldors don't start feeling
paranoid that the "it will take only 5 minutes" crowd is
singling you out

- I took some adult-ed classes in welding & learned
just enough to know that I don't know much about the
art. Anyway, about every 3 months a neighbor or friend
says "Hey! you know how to _weld_!?!? could you fix
my... it should only take a few minutes"
The funny part is that the two things I have fixed
for people ... neither one needed welding, both were
soldered. At least it was an excuse to go buy some
a small torch and some low-temp solder and small clamps
and stuff....

(When they ask if I can fix something important I
tell them that they should someone who really
does know what he's doing to fix it ...)

so the "just 5 minutes" crowd loves us amateurs too

- I'm a software developer during the day. About once
a month one of the big cheeses comes by and says
"We need X done now, it should only take a day"
(the software equivalent to "only 5 minutes" of
welding & fab, I guess)

If I'm feeling particularly ornery, I'll say
"No it won't" and then spell out chapter
and verse as to why... If I'm feeling particularly
snarky, I just say "ok" and three days later when
they come by and say "It was only supposed to take a day"
I start the spelling lesson.

the "just 5 minutes" crowd doesn't stick to "manual trades"
or the like -- in fact, they don't even stick to things of which
they know nothing... the big cheese at work who always
wants the software done in "a day" used to be a software
engineer himself....

i guess the 5-minuters are equal-opportunity weenies

Frank

[JDM]

I do some farm work repairs on the side for people in my hometown. Farmers never argue about prices, they just say, "Get it done." Everybody else tries to haggle prices.

[griff01]

A lady called last Thursday about her husband's aluminum boat. Said it had a couple of small holes in the bottom (???). She was sure it would be easy to fix and could I just "quick weld" the holes so hubby could go fishing Saturday.

I was too busy to get to the job before the middle of this week so she went elsewhere.

My question is : Can someone tell me what "quick weld" means?

Griff

[aametalmaster]

I don't mind at all because 90% of my welding projects come from fixing someone's botched up earlier fix...Bob

[starweld]

Rates

I am curious, what is everyones locale, and what are the going rates?

[IRONLORE]

I was an auto mechanic for about 20 years before going into welding full-time. The 5 minute folks are even worse there. They want it done yesterday, unlimited warranty on the job forever and try to beat you down on the prices on everything. When I got into welding I started dealing with farmers and ranchers mostly who knew how long things take to do right.
They pay up front sometimes even. I know that if I do a "deal" on a welding job, they usually think I should fix it into infinity as it wears out.

Glenn

[SNUNEZ]

It Will Only Take A Minute

I Was Working As A Welding Technician At This Rail Car Manufacturing Plant Lots Of Production The Welding Engineer " My Boss" Gave Me This Meter He Made Up Asked Me To Tell Him How Much Actual Welding Our Best Welder Did In 8 Hours I Being Knowledgeable Lol Said 6 Hours ..he Said Try Again 6.5? Come On He Said 5? No How About 2.75?
I Said Bull Xxxx He Said Try This Meter On Your Best Fastes Twelder I Did Without His Knowing Sure Enough Out Of 8 Hours This Man Only Actually Welded 2.75 Or So Hours And He Was A Production Welder Not A Fabricator Now It Will Take Time To Set Up And Prep And Fit Then The Welding Comes Along 5 Minutes? Yeah Right I Was A Fast Welder Fabricator When I Was A Fitter Welder Still Am But You Are Going To Pay Me For My Abilities Knowledge And Experience Also For Equipment And Overhead Pass This On

[Daved]

I like the neighbors/friends that are too cheap to even bring the thing to fix over or won't even bring some beer as pay.

Based on how big the '5 minute' job is I'll usually say for them to bring the item and a 6/12/24 pack of beer (based on size of job). Amazing how many come up with an excuse on why it doesn't need to be welded all of a sudden.

Or the guy from work (welding is a hobby to me) that expects me to load his crap in my truck in the parking lot, do all the shleping and work, including cutting to size, fab it up, weld it and bring the thing back to work and I don't even get lunch out of it.

Then there are the few (1 in 10) true friends who will bring a case of beer no matter how small the job and then help you clean up and put everything away after you are done.

[StillBoostin]

I told a friend I needed to make some extra money, since his other buddy hasn't paid for the car parts he bought from me(they always have an excuse). He told his sister he knows a great welder. Her trunk latch broke after someone flux core welded it. So I add new 16 ga plate to the 22 ga on the car to sure it up. I hand fab the plate(30 min easily). I had to hand pulse weld it to keep the heat down on the surrounding paint. After an hour and a half in 95 degree and high humidity she say," My brother didn't say it would cost anything, but hear is something for your hard work." $20!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I counted it after she left. A learning lesson for sure.

James