best green horn jokes or story

[6g 7018]

who has a good one been welding for twenty years i want to here yours

[wroughtnharv]

who has a good one been welding for twenty years i want to here yours

A foreman told me I needed to fire a helper because he wasn't worth a flip. I had a fence company and we built all of our own gates etc but the kid needing to be terminated was on an installation crew.

He was big and dumb, not your first choice to fire. That evening when the crews came in I was working in the gate shop. I called him over to help me out with a frame up. I explained to him that he had to hold the joint tight or he might get shocked so he had better hold it tight.

He did what I knew he would do, he didn't hold it tight. I had the ground on one side and was hitting the other piece with the stinger. He screamed so I kept tapping it.

I flipped back the hood cussing him for not holding it like I told him to do. He left, for good without looking back, quit right on the spot, mumbling something about crazy.

[strube1369]

Plasma cutter

Don't know if this counts, but here we go.
Couple years ago, I bought a plasma cutter. Love it. I was wanting to cut an angled piece out of a pipe to make a lighthouse. Clamped the pipe down on my catcher barrel, started cutting. Well, it turns out that if you are cutting a pipe, the fire and sparks might shoot out the end instead of falling into the barrel. In fact, they did. It also turns out that those sparks might go into a plastic 5 gallon barrel that has a bunch of kindling in it. In fact, they did. Being a trained, experienced, (30 years on the job) retired firefighter, those flames and smoke sorta caught my attention. Not wanting to use my brand new fire extinguisher, I put a lid on it, took it outside and fought that fire the old school way. Poured water in the bucket.
As I live only blocks from the fire station I retired out of, I can assure you that I would never ever hear the end of it if those guys ever responded to my house. Well, I learned not to do that...

[MMW]

Not welding but back in wood shop class we had a kid cut a board to short for the project. Teacher sent him to the metal shop teacher to get the board stretcher. That teach sent him to another & so on. Finally the kid came back after visiting all the shop classes & said it must be here cause no one else has it.

Painted a guys clear welding lens with blueing so when he struck an arc he couldn't see anything.

Sent a kid looking for the left-handed screwdriver once.

[mcostello]

Not welding related but it fits. Started in a Glass House when I was just out of High School. Got stuck on night turn as a sweeper in the Hot End. After couple of hours a guy came up to Me and told Me to get the "Mold Stretcher". It was pre hearing protection days and the place was loud, Thought He said Mold Changer, went far away downstairs and found Him sleeping(on His lunch break) He went up to see what was needed and He did not understand it very well. So there 2 fu's off the same mistake.

[Hardrock40]

Don't know if this counts, but here we go.
Couple years ago, I bought a plasma cutter. Love it. I was wanting to cut an angled piece out of a pipe to make a lighthouse. Clamped the pipe down on my catcher barrel, started cutting. Well, it turns out that if you are cutting a pipe, the fire and sparks might shoot out the end instead of falling into the barrel. In fact, they did. It also turns out that those sparks might go into a plastic 5 gallon barrel that has a bunch of kindling in it. In fact, they did. Being a trained, experienced, (30 years on the job) retired firefighter, those flames and smoke sorta caught my attention. Not wanting to use my brand new fire extinguisher, I put a lid on it, took it outside and fought that fire the old school way. Poured water in the bucket.
As I live only blocks from the fire station I retired out of, I can assure you that I would never ever hear the end of it if those guys ever responded to my house. Well, I learned not to do that...

Reminds me of about 12 hours ago, I used some acetone to clean aluminum. Well I had my new leather Tig gloves on and one soaked up some of the acetone.

This was an edge weld with low heat and I kept thinking my torch hand shouldn't be getting this hot. Finally I had to stop and look and my hand was a blazing.

I was slinging that glove everywhere to get it off. It burned out quick with no damage. I was thinking how smart that was.

[BD1]

Got a new apprentice ,BIG strong kid. I asked him how strong he is. Gave me a bunch of his stats. Then I asked if he was strong enough to take 10 sticks of 3/32 lo hi , place behind the back of his neck , and bend the rod around it. He did it and then laughed as he tried to shake off the coating that ran down his back.

[strube1369]

Occasionally, I forget to wear my leather apron while grinding. This sometimes results in me setting my shirt on fire. Got a bunch of shirts like that now. My wife hates it when I set my clothes on fire while wearing them. Must admit, not real good firefighter behaviour...

Reminds me of about 12 hours ago, I used some acetone to clean aluminum. Well I had my new leather Tig gloves on and one soaked up some of the acetone.

This was an edge weld with low heat and I kept thinking my torch hand shouldn't be getting this hot. Finally I had to stop and look and my hand was a blazing.

I was slinging that glove everywhere to get it off. It burned out quick with no damage. I was thinking how smart that was.

[Texas113]

best green horn jokes or story

Hey BD1 I love that trick. Whenever the sheeting crew get a man we pull that trick when they stop by the shop. Collared shirts tucked in make for a great flux collector. Some of them will still grab another handful of rods and try to best "said" rod count. Those are also the employees that aren't around for long.

[Texas113]

best green horn jokes or story

Anyone have any other good pranks to try out on fellow employees? I was lucky enough that I was never really pranked when I first came into the workplace.

[aametalmaster]

This isn't about a new guy but its funny. This fellow had a habit of jumping in trash cans and mashing the paper down. So after watching him for a few weeks we deceided to fill the cans half full of water and put some floating foam peanuts on the top. Yup he jumped right in. It was also the last time...Bob

[jjgriffis]

When i started at the job im at now my shop foreman gave me a box and told me to bring it to the shop manager unbeknown to me the contents of the box was a thing of nozzle dip, some knee pads, and a paper towel... so the manager had me open the box for him while i was in his office... he told me either get busu or get back to work...

We hired a new guy recently not a green horn but new to the shop. We wired in a car horn to the radio.. we told him to go plug in the radio and turn it on... poor guy in his early 50's or so just about had a heart attack.

We got together in the shop to prank our manager has not happened yet.... i just bought the stuff to pull off the prank. Bossman likes to sit on his lazy *** in his air conditioned office all day and play games on his phone... so we figured a pretty good way to get him out of the office would be to spray some doe piss in his a/c....ill let yall know the results of how that works out for us on Monday

[spence648]

We got a temp one day and my boss brought him over to me and said dont let him touch a thing, hes gone tommorrow. Well he wanted to help so i hand him a 4inch grinder and tild him to grind these welds flush. He takes the grinder and starts pushing it like a file on the weld going back and foward. Hes moving the cord out of his way and everything. He looks up at me and says this takes a while huh. I was in disbelief just starring at him. I was pry a jerk though because instead of helping him i had to go get someone else to check this out. Mind you that the grinder was not plugged in the whole time. I dont know about u guys but even if ive never used somthing before and it has a cord id kinda figure it needed to be plugged in.

[6g 7018]

bagel

watched a guy chase a leak around a 1 1/2 pipe so much weld it looked like he stuck a bagel around the pipe

[6g 7018]

carefully silicone the holes in the diffuser on the mig gun do it nice and neat so they can't see it the weld will come out looking like a metal sponge