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how the fight starts <off-topic><humor>

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  • how the fight starts <off-topic><humor>

    How Fights Start........

    One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
    Christmas gift..

    The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

    When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I

    bought you last year!"

    And that's how the fight started.....


    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in

    bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have ***?'

    'No,' she answered.

    I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

    So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

    And that's when the fight started...


    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order

    first..'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

    He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

    'Nah, she can order for herself.'

    And that's when the fight started......


    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping

    the channels.

    She asked, 'What's on TV?'

    I said, 'Dust.'

    And then the fight started...


    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

    She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to

    200 in about 3 seconds.'

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started..


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school

    reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat

    alone at a nearby table.

    I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

    'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...

    I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years

    ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' I said, 'who would think a

    person could go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...


    I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were

    alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know

    how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

    Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

    He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,


    So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

    And then the fight started.....




    When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife

    kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

    But, somehow I always had something else to take care of

    first, the truck, the car, playing golf,

    Always something more important to me.

    Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When

    I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,

    busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

    I watched silently for a short time and then went into the

    house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a

    toothbrush. I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well

    sweep the driveway.'

    The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
    American By Birth, Union by Choice!

    4th generation Pipefitters LU 537

    SpeedGlass 9000x Hood
    Miller Elite Titanium 9400 Hood

  • #2
    Those are pretty good, thanks for posting them!
    These are "my" views based only on “my” experiences in “my” little bitty world.


    • #3
      no prob!
      American By Birth, Union by Choice!

      4th generation Pipefitters LU 537

      SpeedGlass 9000x Hood
      Miller Elite Titanium 9400 Hood


      • #4
        I agree.

        MM 211
        Hobart stickmate AC/DC
        Miller Bobcat 225G
        CutMaster 39
        And a few other tools here and there